Walking with a presence

As mentioned earlier it is important to be seen appearing to be busy so that you can establish that image in your superiour's mind. A keys to successfully pull off a few laps around the facility:

10) "Hands Full" - Never walk empty handed. Always have something (paper, folder, prototype) on your person so that you can it can be used as a distraction should you be stopped. This will also be useful should you establish a symbiotic relationship with a coworker, you both need to understand these facts. If you are having a halway meeting with another gap-worker keep your eyes open (Rule #7) and if a boss should approach, don't run just steer the conversation toward the item that you have with you.

11) Walk with a purpose - Don't dillydally around the office, act like you are on a mission. But don't run that will draw more attention than if you were to walk too slowly. This rule will make it appear that you are to not be disturbed because you need to get somewhere important. This is an important aspect but needs to be joined with rule #12 to complete the walk of presence.

12) Eye Contact - Make sure that you are making eye contact with people as you pass. Don't go overboard and stick your head into everyone's cube/office as you pass. Just make sure that as you pass people (both superiors and be-low-mes) you give the acknowledge that you see them but don't have the time to converse. A tert "sup" or in my case "peace" is also acceptable but should not be over used.

Subtopic A) Cropdusting - The walk of presence is a great tool after a rough night out when you have gas, just pass it as you walk. The key to pulling this off though is that it needs to be done between peers. You don't want to be caught in midflight and be stopped to talk about said item. I tend to partake in this event in the area of the people who I dislike, nothing better than to literally shit on them.

Got some info for me, please comment some personal tips. Peace

Slacking 102

This is a continuation of Killing Time 101

Execution:

5) Posture - Don't slouch, you should appear just like you do whilest doing actual work. This is a very over looked aspect of slacking, body language is a big tell. It is just like playing poker, your exterior can not let onto what your interior is doing.

6) Alt-Tab, this is your tool to get to said spreadsheet with out clicking over too it. It is important to note that you have to be SMOOTH clicking or alt-tabbing over to the hidden document. There is nothing more obvious than when you notice someone coming and you quickly look at your scream and make numerous clicks. Especially if this happens every time someone comes in.

7) Use your senses, you can not become so enveloped in your browsing/day dreaming that you lose focus on what is going on around you. Know where your boss is most likely to approach from. This leads us too;

8)Study your boss - Find his habits. Does s/he typically talk to anyone in your area before you, does s/he have a heavy foot, breathing problems, anything that can give you precious seconds to look busy

9) Time management - You need to realize that if you sit at a desk all day and just stare at a screen with an occasional mouse click you are going to be caught. Surf for 5-10 mins write an email to a friend(s) and every once in a while get up and walk aroud the office just to be seen. We will cover the walking aspect later.

More to come...

Killing Time 101

Ok so you have your work done and don't want to get your foot caught in the trap known as "gap work". Here are few tips to get you through with out anyone asking any questions. Most of these should be obvious or common practice but I will try to help novice to pro:

The set-up:

1) Always have a spreadsheet open on the desktop behind your current internet browsing material. You should know what is on the spreadsheet as well, don't pick a random object off the company server.

2) Make sure that this spreadsheet is at least 3/4 of a page full and is pertinent to your project, if you do not use spreadsheets substitute photoshop, word, company email program, or autoCAD whatever will fit into your office environment

3) Check all your angles, make sure that your current window is not liable to be visible from anyone just passing by. Make sure you are sure of your environment, we will discuss later the necessity of not over reaching your abilities

4) Desk - Don't have a clear desk, clear desks mean you had enough time to put everything away. Rotate documents that apply to your current project so that it dosen't appear that you are stuck, this could raise more questions than you want to answer. It could also be a dead give away when you have mail from 3 days prior unopened.

5) If you operate windows make sure that the toolbar is hidden. If a boss it looking over your shoulder it would not be beneficial to have an object that says "Funny Ass Shit (NSFW)" where s/he can see it.

6) Extras - You will see people with mirrors on their computers or within their range of site but this is just pushing it. This is drawing attention to not only yourself but you set up, don't push the envelope, one questionable encounter and then you are on the shit lis or worse.

Next time I will go over the exectution of our favorite past time - Slacking

Cubicle Camo

Need to hide from that annoying boss coming around at quater til quittin time? Well now we have the ultimate defense, CUBICLE-CAMO. Our unique pants and hoodies can be designed to match any major name brand cubicle. Just pull the hoddie up and plaster yourself against the wall, and poof!! you disappear to the elitest supierior eyes.


Ok theres the seed planted now someone run with this....